


The Beginning

by Rosaline_C



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 15:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13484742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosaline_C/pseuds/Rosaline_C
Summary: May holding Robin's body reminds Coulson so much of Bahrain. He'll do anything to not lose her this time.





	The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't even help myself after all the Mama May feels last week. Another prompt for trope bingo: loss of innocence.

Phil wished this didn’t feel so familiar. His heart broke for his partner as she held Robin’s body to hers--so reminiscent of Bahrain. He just hoped she wouldn’t lose a piece of herself like she did then. She looked up at him and he could feel her pain too. 

He didn’t know the half of it. She sought him out afterwards, taking advantage of a quiet moment before they had to jump into action and go back to their time. 

She sat next to him and he reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before intertwining his fingers with hers. To his surprise she didn’t pull away. She didn’t say anything but he knew he couldn’t push her. May would talk when she was ready to. 

“I raised her,” she finally said quietly. He looked up at her, the question apparent in his eyes. “Robin. Once her mother dies, she lives with me and I raise her as my own.” 

His heart broke for her all over again. It was worse than he thought. She got exactly what she thought she didn’t deserve after Bahrain, and then she lost that too. She raised Robin… He wondered if May was able to give her as happy of a childhood as the situation allowed. She deserved to have some happiness and innocence. As SHIELD agents, they had given up normal lives long ago, but Robin was just a kid--or had been back in their time. He wondered if he had raised her too. No, he couldn’t let himself imagine a life with May and Robin as a family. Not only would the “what if”s drive her mad, but he still had hs deal with Ghost Rider to deal with. A deal he still hadn’t told May about. 

“I’m sorry,” he told her. She nodded. He knew that was as much emotion as he was going to get on the subject. She couldn’t hide the sadness in her eyes from him though. Sad was good. He could work with sad. Sad meant there was still emotions to pull out of her. After Bahrain she had been completely numb. When he looked into her eyes then he saw nothing.  
But the numbness didn’t begin immediately. She let him comfort her at first. When she was first pulled out of there she was so overwhelmed with what had just happened that she broke down sobbing in his arms. He had never felt so helpless as he did then. He remembered carrying her into the hotel room and holding her until she cried herself to sleep. He only let himself hold her for a few moments after he was sure she wouldn’t wake up if he moved before he got up to go call Andrew. It should be her husband here comforting him, not Phil--as much as he wanted it to be him. 

After that night she pulled away from him--from everyone. She transferred to administration and divorced Andrew. 

He didn’t ever want to see her go through that again. This time was different. Last time, she had to make a tough call to save people and a girl got killed. This time, the woman she didn’t remember raising bled out in May’s arms while there was nothing she could do. They weren’t the same situation at all but seeing Robin in May’s arms like that had brought it all rushing back. For both of them. Coulson knew May would never say it but when she least expected it, the events of Bahrain still haunted her.

He gave her hand another squeeze, not sure if he was drawing from her strength or giving her some of his. 

“How much of this do you think we can prevent?” she asked him. “When we go back, how much is going to change?”

He stayed silent for a moment. “As much as possible.”

May looked up at him. “And Robin?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “We’ll do whatever we can to keep her and her mother safe. But if that’s a path that can’t be changed, well, you raise her again.”

“You say that like it’s simple.”

“We’re going to fix this,” he tried to convince her. She didn’t need to know that he was also trying to convince himself. “None of this is going to happen again.”

She was the one to squeeze his hand this time. “I know.”

He knew he shouldn’t ask, but he needed to know. “Did Robin say where I was?” She looked up at him, pain in her eyes. “Oh.”

May sighed. “I don’t think she knew. All she said was that the diner was the last place we were all seen together.”

“Well then I guess we better make the time we have count,” he said quietly. 

“Phil,” she replied softly, turning to face him. He ran his thumb along her cheek before cupping her face. May’s breath hitched as she leaned in. He was hesitant to initiate any further but he didn’t have time to dwell on that before she leaned in and closed the space between them. 

It’s been years since he last kissed Melinda May, and it had only ever been while undercover before. He wasn’t sure how long they’d still be together so he wasn’t going to waste another second of it. 

“About damn time,” she mumbled against his lips before diving in for another kiss. 

No, this time he wasn’t going to lose her like he did after Bahrain. He would make sure that this wasn’t the end, this was just the beginning.


End file.
